


You're Just Like Him (I Lied)

by hipsterharryosborn



Category: The Amazing Spider-Man (Movies - Webb)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Drug Use, Drug Withdrawal, Drug-Induced Sex, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Past Child Abuse, if i missed any tags let me know!!!, its emotional, the ocs are all in the past none of them are named, traumatic things that happened to harry at boarding school
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-21
Updated: 2016-04-25
Packaged: 2018-03-31 13:02:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3979042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hipsterharryosborn/pseuds/hipsterharryosborn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You...? Are you fucking kidding me? So what? You were just going to fuck me and leave?" Harry scoffed, "then stop giving me that bullshit about never hurting me, Peter. Because all you've shown me in the last ten minutes is how little you really think of me."<br/>"You're unbelievable you know that? Why the fuck did you even have to come back?" Peter noticed that made Harry flinch. "I can't decide if you're more like Norman has always said you were, or if you're exactly like him."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in like 3 days plus like a ton more that I edited out??? I Still have it so if you want then I'll add more chapters  
> Also, parts of this are kind of rushed and I apologize but writing is hard lmao

"What?" Harry spoke in a shaky breath. He looked at Spiderman with a confused expression on his face. The smile that had previously graced it was completely gone now, the hope no longer in his eyes. "W-wha... Why not? Peter... He..." Harry put his hand over his mouth and scoffed, shaking his head a little in disbelief. "He told me you gave people hope... But you're just going to let me die."

"Harry, injecting you with my blood could kill you faster or do something worse, I'm no--"

"I'm going to die anyway!" Harry screamed over the soft spoken words coming from under the mask. He threw a glass at the superhero, it hitting the wall behind him instead, some of the glass shards coming back at him, one even slicing him a bit under his eye. Spiderman didn't even flinch."Fuck! The worse you could do is speed up the process and end my suffering. It's my choice and if it kills me so be it.

"But it's my blood, Harry I'm not... I can't be the reason you die." Spiderman reached out for him, his voice soft and careful, but Harry flinched away and took a step back. "Peter he... you know he doesn't want you to do it. Even if I did give you my blood he wouldn't want you to take it." Spiderman- Peter -spoke thoughtfully, picking each word to ensure he wouldn't give away his secret.

"It's not Peter's decision." Harry said sternly, a glare over taking his features.

"He's your friend Harry, he cares about you. He's worried about you, you know that right?"

Harry shook his head and looked at the ground, his anger fading slowly, turning more into despair and desperation. His voice was quite as he spoke, "Peter shouldn't worry about me..."

"Why wouldn't he?" Spiderman took a step closer to Harry, "you're his best friend, the dude was so excited when he found out you were back from Europe." There was a slight laughter in his voice, one that sounded familiar to Harry.

"Well, tell him to stop. There's no point in worrying about me. It's a waste of his time. He shouldn't worry about me because I'm dying away, it doesn't change that little fact no matter how much he wants it to. He should worry about how you aren't as big of a hero as he thinks you are."

Spiderman rubbed the back of his neck and stepped closer again, "Harry--"

"How much?" The older boy interrupted, no longer wanting to speak of his impending fate, nor his best friend.

"What?"

"How much money do you want, how much do I have to give you till you'll give me your blood?" He said as if it was obvious. 

"Harry, you can't buy me."

"Bullshit."

"I don't want your money..."

"Everyone wants my money!" He screamed. Harry's anger began to bubble up inside him again. His head shot up so he could look at the taller man. "Just tell me what you want! Just... I can get you a mansion, girls, boys, cars, anything you want just tell me what it is!" Desperation seeped through the blue-eyed mans lips. Spiderman Peter could see he was having an internal conflict, through his eyes he could see that the desperate man was fight with himself on his next action.

"I don't... Harry I don't want anything from you, there's nothing you can give me that will change my mind." As he spoke the other boy drew closer to him.

"I can give you everything you could ever want or need...Just please help me..." Harry begged, his voice beginning to tremble. Peter felt his heart clench at the distress in the other's voice. 

Harry now stood close to the taller man. He reached up and gently began to roll up the mask. Peter's hands rose as well, ready to stop him if he felt Harry was going too far. The smaller of the two stopped pulling the mask up when it was right above Spiderman's nose. Peter gently covered Harry's hands with his own and froze as he stood on his tiptoes and leaned in. 

"Harry--"

"Shh..." Harry bumped their noses together softly and swallowed hard, hesitating as he inched their lips closer together. "You can have me..." The quiet whisper was almost unheard to Peter, as the hero was too busy searching his brain for a reason why Harry looks so terrified. But that thought was soon lost as well, the second the shorter man's lips touched his own. 

Peter didn't know what to do. He wanted to pull away, just leave. Better to have Harry hate Spiderman than to use him and still not give the sick man what he wanted. But he couldn't bring himself to do it.

Harry's mind was racing. In the back of his mind he was praying that the hero didn't kiss him back, that he wouldn't have to use his body to get what he wanted, like he did in boarding school. He was praying to whatever god there was that the hero wouldn't kiss back or that he would push him away, that he would take his money.

Instead, he didn't get what he wanted. After a few moments of what Harry could only guess was shock, the hero kissed him back tentatively. But soon the kiss was full of fervor as Peter moved his hands down to wrap around the smaller's waist to pull him close, eliciting a whimper from his lips. Harry choked back sob and began to gently push the not so righteous superhero back to sit on the sofa. 

Harry crawled onto his lap, straddling him and being careful not to separate their lips, afraid of a sob escaping that he wouldn't be able to take back. He pushed his body up against the one under his and pushed his fingers up under the mask, tangling his fingers in the soft mess of hair. He bit at Spiderman's lips and kept the kiss deep, rolling his hips and being sure to use all the tricks his peers had taught him in boarding school that would get this over as soon as possible. 

"See... Everybody has a price... Even superheroes..." Harry breathed shakily against the other's lips before trailing kisses across his chin and neck. The moans he was eliciting from the hero would have made him smile given it was any other situation then the one he always seemed to end up in. "Just don't tell Peter...."

Peter's hands were holding him against his body, guiding each roll of Harry's hips. He knew he should stop. Eventually his mask was going to come off and then Harry would realize he was about to let his best friend fuck him. But he couldn't stop. It felt too good and Peter had wanted to be with Harry since he had seen how he had aged beautifully, hell he'd always had a crush on Harry, it's even one of the things that contributed to Harry being sent away. But he was taking advantage of him now and he knew that but he couldn't convince himself that it was the right thing to do even though he knew it was.

Harry kissed back up to his lips and gently pulled at the hair between his fingertips as he felt one hand slide up his shirt and the other move to his ass. He tugged at the hair again and moaned softly to cover the self-depreciating sob he knew still threatened to escape. Harry used his free hand to carefully slide the mask off the others face, wanting to at least see the face of the man he was about to screw. He pushed it off and onto the floor behind the couch. The man under him must have been too distracted to notice, until Harry pulled away to breath that is. 

Peter's eyes widened in fear at being discovered, while Harry's were squinted in betrayal and disbelief.

"Peter...?" Harry's voice cracked and his throat tightened. He quickly removed himself from his friend's lap as the realization of his actions practically slapped him in the face. "Y-You... You're...?" He ran a hand through his hair and his breathing sped up. Anger, betrayal, and sadness building up in his chest. 

"Fuck... H-Harry, I'm so sorry, I'm... Shit..." Peter scrambled to his feet and held his hands out defensively. "Harry I didn't mean--"

"What? For me to almost let you fuck me? What the fuck, Peter!" Harry screamed at him, taking a step back as Peter took one towards him. "Don't you fucking get near me, you fucking asshole." Peter could see the tears welling up in his eyes, even from across the room. "S-So...? Basically when Spiderman said no, you meant you said no!" Harry laughed through his anger and sadness. "So what was all that 'Peter cares about you, he's worried about you' shit? Huh? Some fucking trick so I'd let you in my pants quicker?"

"No, H-Harry that's not--"

"What? Did you hear about what happened to me in boarding school? Thought maybe you could hop on the 'I've fucked Harry Osborn' train? Well fuck you, Peter!" Tears spilled down Harry's face now, mixing with the blood from the earlier cut he had gotten from the glass he'd thrown. He angrily wiped his tears away and glared at him. "You were my friend, Pete! My best fucking friend and you betrayed me!"

Peter's heart stopped at the mention of Harry's time away at boarding school. A time that he knew Harry, and his father had he still been alive, wanted nothing more than to forget. A time Peter was sure all the other boys that had been involved father's wanted to erase from history. But once that video was out on the internet they all knew could never truly be erased. 

"Harry please...just calm down." Peter inched himself closer while Harry held his hand to his face, biting his knuckle to try and stop crying. He reached out and put his hand on Harry's shoulders, bending down to look him in the eyes. "It's nothing like that I swear. Harry I would never, do that to you..." His hand moved up to cup the crying boy's face. Harry flinched away immediately and weakly pushed him away.

"I said don't touch me Peter..."

"Harry, I can't tell you how sorry I am... Please just... I will do anything to make this up to you just tell me what it is I can do." Peter had a desperate look in his eyes, Harry laughed bitterly at how their positions had changed.

"Give me your blood and get out." He spoke quietly and turned to walk further away from him, rubbing his face and itching at the growing sores on his neck. He didn't see Peter shake his head.

"You know I can't do that, Harry." 

"What?" Harry whipped around immediately upon hearing that. "What do you mean you can't?"

"I'm not giving you my blood, Harry, I'm sorry..."

"You...? Are you fucking kidding me? So what? You were just going to fuck me and leave?" Harry scoffed, "then stop giving me that bullshit about never hurting me, Peter. Because all you've shown me in the last ten minutes is how little you really think of me." That pissed Peter off. He sped forward and shoved Harry against the wall. Making the smaller gasp in pain and fear.

"P-Pete--"

"No, Harry, shut the fuck up. You think I don't care about you? Seriously? The reason I'm not going to give you my fucking blood is because I know it's not going to fucking work, okay? The venom from the spider is to strong and it will kill you faster or turn you into something horrible I don't want that to happen to you!" Peter's voice cracked and Harry wasn't sure if it was out of anger or sadness. 

"It's my choice--!"

"I said shut up, Harry!" Peter growled and slammed his hand against the wall beside Harry's head, he flinched away and bit his lip hard, looking anywhere but at Peter. "You're so fucking selfish you know that? You know it won't work, I know you do. But you would rather try it anyway then live whatever days you have left with your friends and the people that love and care about you." Harry scoffed at that and mumbled under his breath but Peter ignored it. "You were even going to whore yourself out to me just so you could try it. Are you fucking crazy?" Peter was breathing heavily and after a few moments of silence, Harry responded. 

"I'm not a whore..." Harry spoke quietly, more to reassure himself of this than Peter. "D-Don't call me that, Peter..." His hands were starting to shake and he tightened them into fists to conceal it.

"Then don't fucking act like one!" Peter leaned away, giving Harry some room to breathe. "God, Harry you left for eight years without a fucking word and yet I'm the one that doesn't care?" Harry wrapped his arms around himself and listened to Peter yell. "You're unbelievable you know that? Why the fuck did you even have to come back?" Peter noticed that made Harry flinch. "I can't decide if you're more like Norman has always said you were, or if you're exactly like him." Peter froze. He didn't mean to say that, he already wanted to take it back.

It looked like Harry had just gotten hit by a bus. His arms were tight around himself and his mouth was hanging wide open. His eyebrows knitted up in a pained expression as tears threatened to fall again. 

They were both silent, the only noise for god knows how long was the city traffic down below. 

Harry bit his lip hard enough to make it bleed and looked at the ground. He nodded and took a deep but shaky breath and walked around Peter. He walked calmly out of the room and into his bedroom, locking and closing the door, sitting down with his back against it. Harry pressed his shaking hands against his face and tried to control himself. Peter's eyes followed him out of the room before he quickly ran to try and catch up with him, being only a few seconds late he gently slammed his fist against the door and laid his forehead against it.

"Harry! Fuck..." Peter crouched down, his palms against the door as well as his forehead, still. "Please, Harry, I didn't mean it, you're nothing like him! Open the door, Harry, I swear I didn't mean any of it, I'm so, so, so, fucking sorry, Har..." Peter's voice cracked as tears welled up in his eyes. He had fucked up, bad.

On the other side of the door, Harry had pulled his legs up to his chest and he was staring off into space listening to the pleas of the younger boy. His hands were shaking violently on either side of his body and he let his head fall back against the door.

After a while, Peter ceased his begging and wiped his face off. He took a deep breath and let his hand linger on the door. "I'm so sorry, Harry..." He then moved to pick his mask up from behind the couch and put it on. He gave one final look towards the bedroom Harry was now hiding in, before jumping out the window. However, he didn't leave, instead he held himself against the wall outside the window where he knew Harry wouldn't be able to see him if he came out. Peter cursed himself and laid his head back against the wall behind him. He knew Harry was just desperate, and that's why he was prepared to give anything. He just wanted to live. But it made Peter sick to his stomach that Harry would stoop that low, and that Peter was going to let him.

By the time Harry realized Peter was gone, his entire body was trembling. He used the door to help himself stand up before unlocking it and exiting the room, moving into the kitchen and pulling out glass, filling it with scotch. Harry looked around the room for a moment, his breathing heavy and his eyes wet with tears. The blue-eyed boy quickly shot back the contents of the glass before pouring another and doing the same. 

"Fuck..." Harry breathed, he carried the glass with him to the living room to grab a cigarette. He put one between his lips before moving to grab his lighter. He flicked the lighter a few times, each more desperate then the last, but to no avail, the cigarette wouldn't light. "Fuck!" Harry shouted, throwing the lighter across the room and the cigarette onto the ground. He pressed a hand to his forehead as sobs started to rack his body. Peter's heart clenched as he heard the lighter hit the wall.

Harry took another drink. He screamed as he threw the now empty glass against the wall. "Fuck you, Peter..." He didn't see Peter flinch. The sobbing boy screamed again as he kicked over a table and began pulling at his hair. "I hate you!" He screamed over and over again. Eventually Peter left, not wanting to hear his, now ex-best friend, repeat how much he now hated him. Harry pretended he didn't see the flash of red and blue go past the window.

Harry continued throwing and breaking things, screaming at the top of his lungs and crying for he didn't know how long. By the time he was done his throat was on fire and his penthouse looked like it had been hit by a tornado. Harry moved to grab a bottle of alcohol, the strongest one he could find, and fell to the floor as his legs gave out. He leaned back against the wall and drank the entire bottle. 

He slept on the floor that night.

Peter went straight home. He didn't try and save people from muggings or robberies. He didn't capture any car thieves. He just went home, stopping only to change his clothes in an alleyway. He was thankful when Aunt May wasn't home, it allowed him to isolate himself in his room. Peter was silent for the rest of the night. Staying quiet in his room and laying in his bed, trying to think of a way to make it up to Harry. 

Then it hit him.

Peter shot up and grabbed his phone, sending a text to one Gwen Stacy. 

_I need your help._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayye three people told me to add another chapter and there was like?? 58 hits so I assume people like it lmao but uh  
> Bad things happen  
> Drugs Happen  
> but hey I hope you enjoy

For the next few weeks Peter tried to get into contact with Harry, but the sick boy wanted nothing to do with him. Peter would come to Oscorp or to the penthouse and try to go up to see Harry but he constantly had security specifically looking for Peter, so they could keep him out. In those weeks, Peter had been trying to make a cure that would work on Harry, Gwen was helping him work on it too, and she was able to get him into the labs at Oscorp. But they were stuck. They had separated the mutated strain of the venom but they had no way of testing it on Harry's blood because he wouldn't see either of them.

Harry, on other hand, during those weeks had done close to nothing. He'd made a house call to his personal doctor, who proceeded to tell him he only had around three to four months left. The stress on his body from the alcohol and drugs making the disease spread quicker than it had on his father, who yes , drank, but not nearly as much as Harry does. While in boarding school, Harry had done many things he regretted. One was allowing the boys that used him, get him addicted to cocaine. Which Harry had been on a constant high from, since the day after his and Peter's fight. To Harry, he only had a short time left so why not enjoy it?

Harry had convinced Felicia to go to meetings in his place, she was practically running Oscorp now. She was also there whenever he got bad. When the he got the shakes from either the disease or the cocaine or sometimes (most of the time) both, Felicia was always there. Even when he would scream at her when she would try to convince him to talk to Peter. He had told her Peter's secret but she didn't understand why he was so mad. Why he felt so betrayed. She stayed even when he'd yell at her for trying to get him to go into rehab.

Harry didn't understand why she stayed. Whether it was because she didn't want to lose her job or because she actually cared, he didn't know but he was glad she did.

Peter was thankful for Felicia. Occasionally, she would text or meet him and they'd talk about Harry. She'd tell him how he was doing and Peter could see the worry in her eyes. He knew she cared about him almost as much as Peter did. She told him about his addiction, how Harry hadn't been eating much, told him about boarding school, which Harry had told her all about one night in a drunken stupor, she even told him what was on the video Harry had mentioned during their fight. When he heard what had happened his heart nearly stopped and he got the sudden urge to hunt down the guys that had forced him into it and had caused Harry's addiction, and make them pay.

"Can you tell him I'm trying to make the cure? But I need his help, I have to test it first." Peter asked her one day while they had gone out to get coffee before Felicia had to go to a meeting for Harry.

"I have, Peter... He doesn't want anything to do with you... I can try to tell him again... But..." Felicia sighed. She looked at him with a sorry expression and looked at her phone to check the time. "Look I have to go, just... Use your little spidey powers to see him tonight. Tell him yourself, just... Make sure he doesn't hurt himself, okay?" Peter nodded in response and gave her a hug before she went on her own way.

* * *

 

Harry was sitting on the edge of his roof on the top of Oscorp, swinging his legs, which were hanging off the edge. He was smoking a cigarette and drinking scotch straight out of the bottle, said bottle was nearly empty and he was about to get up to get another one when he heard a soft 'thud' behind him.

"Fuck off, Peter." Harry spoke immediately, not even turning around to look at him. He brought the cigarette to his lips and looked to the orange tinted sky as he inhaled deeply.

"What are you doing...?" Peter said cautiously, afraid of how close Harry was to the edge of the building, especially because of how self destructive he had been the back few weeks.

Harry laughed bitterly in response, smoke flowing out of his mouth as he did. "Oh you know, smoking, drinking, dying, the usual." He took a drink and laid down with his eyes closed, his legs still hanging off the edge.

"Harry--"

"It's Mr. Osborn. We aren't friends, Parker." Harry spat, his eyes shooting open and darting to glare at Peter, whose eyes were covered by his mask.

"Harry, I'm made a cure." Peter said quickly, ignoring Harry even though what he had said hurt. At that, Harry put his cigarette between his lips again and stood up, wobbling a bit from the alcohol. Peter took a step forward, fear rising in his chest. He pulled the mask off and dropped it onto the floor, he walked closer to Harry, but kept a respectable distance away. Harry noticed this and scoffed.

"What? Afraid to be too close to the whore?" Harry rolled his eyes and started to walk inside, leaving the now empty bottle behind. "Just give me it and leave." He said, leaning against the door frame. Peter walked up to him stopping when Harry blew smoke in his face.

Peter only just realized how much the disease had spread. This sores on his neck had traveled up to his jaw line. Harry's eyes looked more sunken in then they usually did and Peter could tell how much weight the other had lost even though he was fully clothed. Peter noticed his blood shot eyes and pinprick pupils. He had to be drunk, or high.

Probably both.

"You know I didn't mean that... And I-I need your blood, Har, I'm not giving it to you until I test it." Harry laughed in his face.

"That's just fucking funny. When I need your blood, you don't give it to me, but now you need mine?" A too wide to be real smile graced his face before disappearing quickly. "And yeah, you did, Pete."

"Harry just... You wanted my blood to save you, now I need yours to make sure it will work. I want to save you Harry." The younger man pleaded, taking another step forward, only to be stopped when a hand pressed against his chest.

"So? What? You didn't want to save me before? " Harry let his hand fall back down, shaking his head he turned and moved away from the doorframe and Peter, who he felt move to walk behind him. He moved to push his cigarette into the ashtray and crossed his arms before interrupting Peter as soon as he saw him open his mouth. "Besides, you can't test blood that has toxin's in it, which means you'd have to get me clean, which, coincidentally isn't going to happen."

"Harry-"

"I have three months left to live, Pete. I'm not going to suffer through withdrawal for something that I'm not even sure if I want anymore."

That hit Peter hard. "Harry you're killing yourself can you not see that?" Harry shook his head and looked away from him.

"I know, I don't care, Pete. Like I said, weeks ago, I'm dying anyway so what does it matter? The only fucking person that's even going to notice is Felicia, and that's just because she won't have to take care of me anymore." The sick boy laughed.

"I would fucking notice!" Peter moved directly in front of him and cupped his face, forcing the smaller to look at him. "There's just one more step I have to take before I can cure you, Harry. You can be happy again..." Peter's voice was filled with desperation.

"I don't remember the last time I was happy..." Harry spoke thickly, his hands on Peter's chest again, ready to push him away.

"Then you can finally be happy... come on, Har, go to rehab and get clean, and let me cure you..." Peter's voice was soft and calming, he gently pressed his forehead against Harry's and stroked his cheek with his thumb.

Harry's eyes closed and he bit his lip. "I'm not going to rehab Peter...I can stop, whenever I want." Harry pushed him away and reopened his eyes.

"Then stop! Please, Harry, just stop so you can get better." Peter pleaded as Harry shook his head and turned around, moving to get another bottle of scotch. But he was stopped when Peter grabbed onto his shoulders and turned him around. "Just stop drinking, stop doing drugs... Fuck, Harry you can come live with me to get away from all the stress if you promise you'll just fucking stop!"

"What if I don't want to stop? What if I like how it makes me feel? Why the fuck do you even care, huh?" Harry growled, stepping closer and slapping his hands off his shoulders .

"Why do I care? Harry you're my best fucking friend!" Peter threw his hands up in the air when Harry shook his head. "You were gone for eight years, Harry. A-and you come back w-w-with a drug addiction, and tell me you're dying? I'm sorry but that's a lot to take in!"

"None of that was my fault."

"I know it wasn't! So why don't you try to fix it! Get clean, let me finish the cure, make up for lost time..." Peter cupped his friend's cheek again, his voice getting quieter as his sentence trailed off. "We both know the real reason Norman sent you away Harry and it wasn't to better your education..." Peter stared into Harry's eyes lovingly and smiled slightly, but Harry's gaze continued to be cold. Peter ignored it. "Get clean so we can start where we left off and so you won't have to worry about dying like him. Get clean for yourself if nothing else. Cause that shit's going to kill you quicker than the disease is, Har."

Harry's face relaxed and he shook his head but didn't respond. He looked away from Peter but was met with those deep brown eyes as Peter bent down till they were eye level. He carefully cupped Harry's face once again and slowly leaned in, he stopped before their lips touched to give Harry time to pull away if he wanted to. But he didn't, so Peter continued. He kissed Harry tentatively, moving one of his hands down to the shorter boy's waist. Harry was frozen for a few moments but slowly began to reciprocate the kiss, he put his hands on the base of Peter's neck and moved one into his hair, pulling him only slightly closer. Peter's other hand moved down as well so both of his arms were wrapped around Harry's waist, pulling him close as the kiss deepened.

Soon after, however, Harry shook his head and moved both of his hands to Peter's chest and pushed him away. When Peter tried to kiss him again, Harry slapped him across the face, hard. Peter's hand shot to his face and gave him a confused and upset look.

"How dare you!" He screamed, Peter saw regret flash through his eyes. "How fucking dare you, Peter! After what you fucking said to me? After what you were going to let me do? Fuck you!" Harry cried, shoving him in the direction of the exit. Peter stumbled back more from shock then the force of Harry's pushes. Peter nodded and bit his lip. "What do you think you can just kiss me and I'll do what ever you want?"

"No, Harry I jus-"

"You're just like everyone else! Get the fuck out Parker!" Harry shouted at him and stumbled back a bit himself. The alcohol and overexertion from shoving at Peter taking it's tole.

"I-I'm sorry, Harry..." Peter left quickly, picking his mask up from outside, quickly putting it on. He didn't leave completely though, he stood outside on the roof with his hands covering his face as he thought about how much of an idiot he was. Then he remembered Felicia's words.

_Don't let him hurt himself._

Harry quickly made his way to the bathroom and closed door. He looked at his refection in the mirror, sunken, red eyes, pinprick pupils, hallow cheeks, his disease slowly creeping its way onto his face. He looked dead.

He didn't want to see it anymore.

Harry threw his hairdryer at the mirror and shouted in anger. He made his way to the table where his left over coke was just laying there and got onto his knees beside it, he cut the lines as quick as he could before snorting them just as quick, wanting to get as high as he could as quick as possible.

But then he heard footsteps getting closer and a distant shout of his name, and he felt something warm drip down his lips. Harry brought his hand to his face and dabbed at his nose with shaky fingers. When he pulled them back they were covered in blood. Harry tried to stand up, only to fall back down before everything turned black.

By the time Peter found him, Harry was convulsing on the floor.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit..." Peter ran to Harry and turned him onto his side, "Harry, what did you do...?" He noticed the blood on his face first, then the powder, he looked at the table and saw the leftover coke. "Fuck..." Peter then gathered the boy up into his arms and made way for the hospital.

When he got there he got him onto a gurney, along with his shouting for a doctor and still being dressed as Spiderman he got the attention of many doctors and nurses almost immediately. He told the nurse that he had already contacted Harry's emergency contact which had, surprisingly, been Peter. He didn't leave to change until Harry was taken into the emergency room.

Once he changed into his normal clothes he stood in the waiting room and texted Felicia and Gwen, telling them the bare minimum of what had happened. To which they both responded they would be at the hospital as soon as possible. He even called Aunt May to tell her he wasn't coming home that night. When Felicia and Gwen got there, Peter was a wreck. They had to convince him that it wasn't his fault Harry OD'd even though it had been right after their fight.

"I-I shouldn't have left him alone, I shouldn't have kissed him, I-I-"

"Peter, it wasn't your fault okay? You said he was already drunk when you got there, right?" Peter nodded slightly. "And he was already high?" Gwen asked quietly, not wanting any of the other people in the room to hear them.

"Y-Yeah? Maybe? I-I'm not sure..."

"He was." Felicia added, "he was high when I checked on him earlier today, before you got there, Peter."

"Peter, with all that in his system, I'm surprised this is the first time he's overdosed. If you hadn't been there, he would have died. It's good that you were there, Peter." Gwen tried to reassure him.

"Fuck." Peter put his face in his hands and leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. "Guys I was about to leave, I was just going to leave him..."

"Yeah, you were going to leave because you upset him, but you didn't know what he was going to do, Peter. What made you go find him anyway?" Gwen asked, rubbing his back to try and calm him down.

"I remembered what you told me..." Peter looked at Felicia and she gave him a questioning look. "About not letting him hurt himself. I dunno it just... Clicked. That he would do something. Then I-I found him in his bedroom, and he had a-a bloody nose a-a-and-"

"Shh, it's okay, Peter. You don't have to tell us again." Gwen continued to rub his back while her and Felicia gave each other concerning looks.

They had been waiting for what felt like hours before the doctor finally came out and called Harry's name. Peter shot up immediately, Gwen and Felicia following behind him.

"Is he okay?"

"Are you family?" They all shook their heads and the doctor gave them apologetic looks.

"I am extremely sorry, but I can only tell members of Mr. Osborn's family his diagnosis." The doctor turned and began to walk away but Peter sped in front of him.

"Please, both of his parents are dead, he has no siblings, we're the closest thing to family he has. I-I'm his emergency contact, that has to count for something, right? Please, just..." Peter ran a nervous hand  
through his hair. "Just tell us if he's okay." The doctor looked at the three of them and sighed.

"He came in with an incredibly large amount of both alcohol and benzoylmethylecgonine in his system."

"Cocaine..." Gwen spoke under her breath and the doctor nodded and looked at his clipboard.

"He was in the beginning stages of Phase 2 of a cocaine overdose along with the beginnings of alcohol poisoning. " The three nodded for him to keep going. "We injected him with thiamine to rid him of the alcohol in his system, along with benzodiazapine to treat his seizures. We immersed him in ice water to lower his temperature, as it was 113.5 degrees. He showed symptoms of dehydration and malnourishment as well,  
which we are also treating."

Peter practically felt his heart stop, Felicia had her forehead pressed against Peter's shoulder and her eyes shut tightly, and Gwen was covering her mouth with one hand while the other was holding onto Peter's wrist.

"C-Can we see him?" Peter's voice cracked as he spoke. "Is he going to be okay?"

"He is, but he needs to rest which is what he is doing at the moment. Only one of you at a time can go see him right now, in a day or two depending on his recovery, more of you may be able to go in.

"You should go, Felicia. He's not gonna want to see me..." Peter spoke quietly, looking over at her. She opened her eyes and looked at him.

"Peter, shut up, he's asleep." Peter opened his mouth to speak but Gwen interrupted.

"Go with the nice doctor and call us when he wakes up, okay?" She smiled and kissed Peter on the cheek, then grabbed Felicia's hand and pulled her along behind her as they left.

Peter turned back to the doctor, who was waiting patiently to take him to Harry's room. "Guess it's me."

The doctor nodded and began to lead him to the room. "Now don't be too shocked when you see him. The affect of both the overdose and the alcohol poisoning took its toll on his body."

Peter took a deep breath and stuck his hands in his pockets, trying to get them to stop shaking. "Thank you." He said as the doctor showed him Harry's room, before walking off to deal with another patient.

Peter entered the room and closed the door behind himself, the air left his body when he saw Harry. He was extremely pale, paler than usual, and his skin was tinted blue. Harry had an IV in one arm and his hair looked like it would be sticking to his skin if there wasn't an ice pack on his head. The bags under his eyes were darker than they had been when Peter had seen him before, and the sores on his neck were covered by bandages. Harry looked like he had lost about thirty pounds.

Peter quietly pulled a chair beside Harry's bed and very carefully took his hand in his own. He rubbed Harry's hand with his thumb and took a shaky breath.

"I'm so, so sorry, Harry..." He kissed the back of Harry's hand and scooted closer to the bed.

Peter spent a while like that, occasionally kissing his hand and whispering things he knew the other couldn't hear. Every now and then a nurse would come in and check Harry's vitals or inject something into his IV.

They would offer Peter a drink or food but each time he refused and eventually fell asleep. His finger's intertwined with Harry's limp ones and his head resting on the bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some of this was so rushed im so sorry omg  
> hope you enjoyed! I might post another chapter tomorrow


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is so short compared to the other two im so sorry

When Harry woke up his head was pounding, and when he opened his eyes he was thankful that the lights in the room had been dimmed. He felt something cool on his head and lifted his hand to take it off, but stopped when he felt something tug on his arm. Harry looked at the IV in his arm and groaned quietly closing his eyes fully and letting his head fall back onto the pillow. 

A few moments later he opened his eyes again when he felt something squeeze his left hand and his eyes darted straight to it, then he noticed the sleeping figure beside him. 

"Peter?" His voice was quiet and scratchy, it hurt him to speak. When the other didn't wake up, Harry tried again. "Pete..." He squeezed Peter's hand before using his other hand to take the ice pack off his head, ignoring the tug in the bend of his arm. He put the ice pack on the bed as Peter stirred awake and he tried to sit up, groaning softly as he did so.

Peter blinked the sleep out of his eyes and looked at Harry, he noticed how the older boy was no longer tinted blue and how his skin was a bit livelier, his body having detoxed more while they were both asleep. 

Harry heard his sharp intake of breath before Peter's hand was removed from his own and he was being pressed against the bed.

"Hey, hey, lay back down, just rest, Har." 

Harry gave him a look but didn't fight. "Why a--" He barely got out before breaking out into coughs. Peter darted to the other side of the room where a sink was, along with a few paper cups. He filled one up and brought back to Harry, helping him drink it before throwing the cup away. 

"Thanks..." Peter nodded in response and sat back down beside him. "What happened...?"

"You don't remember?" Harry shook his head and shrugged, but then averted his eyes from Peters' and stared at the sheets.

"I remember the fight... and the kiss...." His eyes flickered to Peter's before going back to the bed. Peter grabbed his hand again and squeezed it gently. "I-I remember going to the bathroom and breaking the mirror, then going to my bedroom... Then I had a bloody nose and here I am..."

"You had a seizure... You OD'd, Harry..." Peter spoke softly. Harry's head turned quick to look at him and a quiet laugh escaped his lips. 

"No I didn't?" He shook his head. "H-How could I have overdosed? I didn't do anymore than I always do?"

"You had alcohol poisoning too, that mixed with the cocaine, lead to an overdose." 

Harry kept shaking his head. "Why are you here, Parker?" 

"What?" 

"Why are you here? Y-You left, I saw you leave, why did you come back?" Harry spoke quickly.

"It doesn't matter why I came back, Harry! You almost died!"

"And? Why did you come back? What was it some superhero sense and you thought I was going to do something stupid?" Harry scoffed and Peter gave him a look of confusion.

"You did do something stupid!"

"It's not like I did it on purpose. You act like I tried to kill myself, Parker."

"You are trying to kill yourself, Har! You're killing yourself with the drinking and the drugs, it's speeding up the effects of the disease and you won't get clean so I can help you!" Peter stopped talking for a moment  
but continued when Harry didn't respond. "And I came back because I care about you, Harry, you know that."

"Oh, yeah, because the way you let me 'whore myself out to you' and the way you so kindly pointed out that I'm either just like Norman, or exactly what he always told me I am. Which would be worthless, a faggot, useless, better off dead, waste of space, blah blah blah, and, of course, a whore." Harry rolled his eyes and laughed. "So I mean at least your way of showing that you care, I'm used to."

Peter visibly flinched. "Harry you know I didn't mean that..."

"Oh, I can promise you that I don't." Harry pulled his hand out of Peter's and as angry as he was, he didn't know if he wanted to yell at him or thank him for coming back. 

"Har, I... You're nothing like him. Norman was, a horrible excuse of a dad, and you know that from the first time I saw one of the bruises he left on you, I wanted to save you from him. Hell, I wanted to kill him. Every action he made towards you or word he said to you, made me want to kill him. And now he's dead, and he's still torturing you. Leaving you with this fucking disease, that I know you want to be rid of." Peter leaned forward and put a finger under Harry's chin, making him look at Peter directly. "You know I didn't mean any of that shit I said. You are not what he called you. You're not worthless, or useless, or a whore. What happened that night, it was my fault. I let my feelings for you get ahead of my better judgment and almost used you, and I am so sorry." Peter moved to sit on the bed next to Harry and cupped his face. Harry's eyebrows were knit together and he was biting down on his lip. "Nothing was your fault, not that shit at boarding school, not the other night, not your mom, not anything. None of it was your fault, Harry. Do you understand me?" Harry hesitated a bit before nodding. "You're gorgeous, and funny, and smart, and nice, and you mean so much to me. Please let me help you, Harry. Get clean so you can finally live without that asshole having some kind of hold over you... I know you're pissed at me for what I said, and I don't blame you for it. You can be pissed at me for as long as you want 'cause I deserve it, but please, Harry, get sober."

"Wha... What if I can't? What if I do get clean, f-for like a week and then I relapse? Or a month? And then it was for nothing." Harry gently placed his hand over Peter's and wrapped his finger's around his wrist, pulling Peter's hand away from his face.

"Then you start over, you start from the beginning. Get clean again."

"I can't do this alone, Pete... When I'm alone it's like t-there's this voice in my head that's telling me the only way I can be happy is if I'm high or drunk... It's like he's in my head, Peter, like Norman is always there in the back of my mind, reminding me of everything I hate about myself or the things that I regret doing, o-or just spitting out plain lies..."

"Harry, you won't be alone, you have me and Felicia and Gwen. We care about you, hell you can come live with me if you want." Peter smiled. "Aunt May would love to see you again, and that way you won't ever be alone. I'll make sure you don't relapse, you're gonna be okay... And I won't try and kiss you again, I promise... Unless you want me to, and I'll ask first too, before each kiss just to make sure you're okay with it." 

Harry laughed and smiled a bit but it quickly faded.

"You can't be with me 24/7. What about your job, and Spiderman. I can't be a burden again.."

"Then Felicia or Gwen can look after you, or Aunt May if she's not at work. Don't ever think you're a burden, Har, cause you're not, we care about you, and we love you, and we want you to get better." 

Harry nodded and looked at their hands. "I-" He stopped when the door of his room opened and a nurse walked in. 

"Oh! Mr. Osborn you're awake, how are you feeling?" Peter moved away from the bed and let go of his hand as the nurse drew closer.

"Alright I guess..." Harry's eyes followed Peter. "When can I leave?"

"Well, that's up to the doctor. It could be a few hours or a few days, I'll make sure that he is in soon to talk to you." The nurse smiled sweetly at him before going through a few routine checks, as well as refilling his IV drip. When she was done, she left the room with a smile and closed the door behind herself.

Peter took his seat in the chair next to the bed once again and was about to speak when his stomach growled. Harry laughed as Peter's face became red.

"Go get something to eat, Pete."

"Are you gonna be okay if I...?" Peter trailed off and pointed towards the door.

"I'll be fine, just go."

"Do you want anything?" Harry shook his head. "Okay, I'll be back in a bit." Peter stood and gave Harry a quick kiss on the cheek before making his way to the door. 

"I thought you said no more kissing!"

"That was a friend kiss, friend kisses don't count!" Peter winked before leaving the room. Harry shook his head and smiled before leaning back against the pillow and closing his eyes. His smile faded once again, however, as he silently brewed in his inner turmoil.

As angry as he still was at Peter for what he did, the feelings that he had for him made it hard to stay angry. It had been like that since they were younger, anytime Peter accidentally did something that upset him, the second he smiled at him it was all forgotten about. And as much as he wanted to be angry, because he had a right to be, he knew it wasn't going to last.

He would walk to the ends of the Earth for Peter. But getting sober was something different. He would be sober in a few days, but going through withdrawal could last weeks, weeks that he didn't have. He could go through that and the cure not work, and his last few months alive would just be him suffering more than he was before, for no reason. And he didn't know if he could handle that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhh?? apparently im only good at writing sad things lmao, happy things are hard  
> also harry is bad at feeling things  
> anyway sorry again for this being so short, hope you liked it though!


	4. Chapter 4

When Harry woke up his head was pounding, and when he opened his eyes he was thankful that the lights in the room had been dimmed. He felt something cool on his head and lifted his hand to take it off, but stopped when he felt something tug on his arm. Harry looked at the IV in his arm and groaned quietly closing his eyes fully and letting his head fall back onto the pillow. 

A few moments later he opened his eyes again when he felt something squeeze his left hand and his eyes darted straight to it, then he noticed the sleeping figure beside him. 

"Peter?" His voice was quiet and scratchy, it hurt him to speak. When the other didn't wake up, Harry tried again. "Pete..." He squeezed Peter's hand before using his other hand to take the ice pack off his head, ignoring the tug in the bend of his arm. He put the ice pack on the bed as Peter stirred awake and he tried to sit up, groaning softly as he did so.

Peter blinked the sleep out of his eyes and looked at Harry, he noticed how the older boy was no longer tinted blue and how his skin was a bit livelier, his body having detoxed more while they were both asleep. 

Harry heard his sharp intake of breath before Peter's hand was removed from his own and he was being pressed against the bed.

"Hey, hey, lay back down, just rest, Har." 

Harry gave him a look but didn't fight. "Why a--" He barely got out before breaking out into coughs. Peter darted to the other side of the room where a sink was, along with a few paper cups. He filled one up and brought back to Harry, helping him drink it before throwing the cup away. 

"Thanks..." Peter nodded in response and sat back down beside him. "What happened...?"

"You don't remember?" Harry shook his head and shrugged, but then averted his eyes from Peters' and stared at the sheets.

"I remember the fight... and the kiss...." His eyes flickered to Peter's before going back to the bed. Peter grabbed his hand again and squeezed it gently. "I-I remember going to the bathroom and breaking the mirror, then going to my bedroom... Then I had a bloody nose and here I am..."

"You had a seizure... You OD'd, Harry..." Peter spoke softly. Harry's head turned quick to look at him and a quiet laugh escaped his lips. 

"No I didn't?" He shook his head. "H-How could I have overdosed? I didn't do anymore than I always do?"

"You had alcohol poisoning too, that mixed with the cocaine, lead to an overdose." 

Harry kept shaking his head. "Why are you here, Parker?" 

"What?" 

"Why are you here? Y-You left, I saw you leave, why did you come back?" Harry spoke quickly.

"It doesn't matter why I came back, Harry! You almost died!"

"And? Why did you come back? What was it some superhero sense and you thought I was going to do something stupid?" Harry scoffed and Peter gave him a look of confusion.

"You did do something stupid!"

"It's not like I did it on purpose. You act like I tried to kill myself, Parker."

"You are trying to kill yourself, Har! You're killing yourself with the drinking and the drugs, it's speeding up the effects of the disease and you won't get clean so I can help you!" Peter stopped talking for a moment   
but continued when Harry didn't respond. "And I came back because I care about you, Harry, you know that."

"Oh, yeah, because the way you let me 'whore myself out to you' and the way you so kindly pointed out that I'm either just like Norman, or exactly what he always told me I am. Which would be worthless, a faggot, useless, better off dead, waste of space, blah blah blah, and, of course, a whore." Harry rolled his eyes and laughed. "So I mean at least your way of showing that you care, I'm used to."

Peter visibly flinched. "Harry you know I didn't mean that..."

"Oh, I can promise you that I don't." Harry pulled his hand out of Peter's and as angry as he was, he didn't know if he wanted to yell at him or thank him for coming back. 

"Har, I... You're nothing like him. Norman was, a horrible excuse of a dad, and you know that from the first time I saw one of the bruises he left on you, I wanted to save you from him. Hell, I wanted to kill him.   
Every action he made towards you or word he said to you, made me want to kill him. And now he's dead, and he's still torturing you. Leaving you with this fucking disease, that I know you want to be rid of." Peter leaned forward and put a finger under Harry's chin, making him look at Peter directly. "You know I didn't mean any of that shit I said. You are not what he called you. You're not worthless, or useless, or a whore. What happened that night, it was my fault. I let my feelings for you get ahead of my better judgment and almost used you, and I am so sorry." Peter moved to sit on the bed next to Harry and cupped his face. Harry's eyebrows were knit together and he was biting down on his lip. "Nothing was your fault, not that shit at boarding school, not the other night, not your mom, not anything. None of it was your fault, Harry. Do you understand me?" Harry hesitated a bit before nodding. "You're gorgeous, and funny, and smart, and nice, and you mean so much to me. Please let me help you, Harry. Get clean so you can finally live without that asshole having some kind of hold over you... I know you're pissed at me for what I said, and I don't blame you for it. You can be pissed at me for as long as you want 'cause I deserve it, but please, Harry, get sober."

"Wha... What if I can't? What if I do get clean, f-for like a week and then I relapse? Or a month? And then it was for nothing." Harry gently placed his hand over Peter's and wrapped his finger's around his wrist, pulling Peter's hand away from his face.

"Then you start over, you start from the beginning. Get clean again."

"I can't do this alone, Pete... When I'm alone it's like t-there's this voice in my head that's telling me the only way I can be happy is if I'm high or drunk... It's like he's in my head, Peter, like Norman is always there in the back of my mind, reminding me of everything I hate about myself or the things that I regret doing, o-or just spitting out plain lies..."

"Harry, you won't be alone, you have me and Felicia and Gwen. We care about you, hell you can come live with me if you want." Peter smiled. "Aunt May would love to see you again, and that way you won't ever be alone. I'll make sure you don't relapse, you're gonna be okay... And I won't try and kiss you again, I promise... Unless you want me to, and I'll ask first too, before each kiss just to make sure you're okay with it." 

Harry laughed and smiled a bit but it quickly faded.

"You can't be with me 24/7. What about your job, and Spiderman. I can't be a burden again.."

"Then Felicia or Gwen can look after you, or Aunt May if she's not at work. Don't ever think you're a burden, Har, cause you're not, we care about you, and we love you, and we want you to get better." 

Harry nodded and looked at their hands. "I-" He stopped when the door of his room opened and a nurse walked in. 

"Oh! Mr. Osborn you're awake, how are you feeling?" Peter moved away from the bed and let go of his hand as the nurse drew closer.

"Alright I guess..." Harry's eyes followed Peter. "When can I leave?"

"Well, that's up to the doctor. It could be a few hours or a few days, I'll make sure that he is in soon to talk to you." The nurse smiled sweetly at him before going through a few routine checks, as well as refilling his IV drip. When she was done, she left the room with a smile and closed the door behind herself.

Peter took his seat in the chair next to the bed once again and was about to speak when his stomach growled. Harry laughed as Peter's face became red.

"Go get something to eat, Pete."

"Are you gonna be okay if I...?" Peter trailed off and pointed towards the door.

"I'll be fine, just go."

"Do you want anything?" Harry shook his head. "Okay, I'll be back in a bit." Peter stood and gave Harry a quick kiss on the cheek before making his way to the door. 

"I thought you said no more kissing!"

"That was a friend kiss, friend kisses don't count!" Peter winked before leaving the room. Harry shook his head and smiled before leaning back against the pillow and closing his eyes. His smile faded once again, however, as he silently brewed in his inner turmoil.

As angry as he still was at Peter for what he did, the feelings that he had for him made it hard to stay angry. It had been like that since they were younger, anytime Peter accidentally did something that upset him, the second he smiled at him it was all forgotten about. And as much as he wanted to be angry, because he had a right to be, he knew it wasn't going to last.

He would walk to the ends of the Earth for Peter. But getting sober was something different. He would be sober in a few days, but going through withdrawal could last weeks, weeks that he didn't have. He could go through that and the cure not work, and his last few months alive would just be him suffering more than he was before, for no reason. And he didn't know if he could handle that.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this ones short too  
> im trying to like split the chapters up by scene/time change you know?? also since the story isnt finished, doing that will me ill actually finish it instead of having another unfinished story lmao

After Peter was finished eating he texted both Gwen and Felicia to inform them that Harry was awake and more or less okay. To which he got a response of "tell me when you know how long till he gets out" and "tell him I'm glad he's okay!" Peter send back "I will," to both and made his way back upstairs to Harry's room, stopping outside when he heard talking.

"No I didn't do it on purpose. It was an accident, okay? You don't need to admit me to the psyche ward I'm not going to do it again."

"Mr. Osborn, I'm merely suggesting-"

"Well suggest something else."

"What about rehab?"

"No."

"Mr. Osborn, if your vitals stabilize then you can be released later today, but the possibility of another overdose is high. Next time you might not be lucky enough to survive it. You wouldn't want to shorten your life more than it had already been due to the retroviral hyperplasia."

"Doctor, as much as I appreciate that you're trying to help, I can take care of myself once I get out of here. I have some friends that are going to assist me in staying sober, and I don't need to hear the 'it's killing you quicker' speech because I know. I'm not going to rehab or the psyche ward, and I'm getting out of this place as soon as I can."

"Alright, but if you come back, then I will have to press that you do go into a rehabilitation center."

Peter walked in then to see Harry nodding in response to the doctor. Both sets of eyes looked at him before the doctor's turned back to Harry. He excused himself and told him that a nurse would be in momentarily with some food and anything else he may need or want. When the doctor was gone Peter smiled and walked to the bed.

"'Some friends' huh?"

"Oh, shut up."

Peter held his hands up defensively and sat down. "So what was that about the psyche ward?"

Harry sighed and shook his head. "He thinks I did it on purpose and need to go so that I won't do it again."

"He's not going to make you go is he?"

"He can't make me do anything. So, no. And you heard me tell him I'm not going to rehab either... Hopefully I can stay clean so I don't have to come back here or go to one of those shit holes."

Peter nodded and pursed his lips. "Are you gonna get out today?"

"Probably, not for a few hours though." They were both silent for a little while after that, Harry was picking at the fabric of the blanket as Peter watched him. His eyes moving from Harry's hands to his face, over and over again. Eventually Peter spoke.

"Hey."

"Hi?" Harry gave him a questionable glance before picking at the blanket again.

"What were you going to say earlier? Before the nurse walked in, when you first woke up."

"Uh..." Harry's eyebrows furrowed as he thought. "Oh, um... It's nothing, just forget about it."

"Come on, man, what were you gonna say?" Peter smiled as Harry's cheeks became tinted pink.

"Nothing."

"Well that nothing is making you blush so it's obviously something." Harry groaned and rolled his eyes, sitting up and crossing his legs under the blankets as Peter moved to sit on the now empty half of the bed.

"I was going to say that I'm glad you're here, Pete... And thank you for coming back..."

Peter just stared at him, his smile getting wider every second. Harry quirked an eyebrow and gave him a look.

"What?"

"Can I kiss you?" Harry bit his lip and shook his head, trying to hide the butterflies he felt in his stomach for a split second.

"Pete..."

"Can I?" Peter repeated, his voice softer than before.

"It's not that simple."

"How is it not?"

"Because it's not! For the next few days, o-or weeks I'm going to hate you, Peter. I'm going to be shaky, angry, nauseous, cry, refuse to eat, I'm going to have the sweats and chills and I won't be able to sleep and I'm going to blame all of it on you, because you won't let me get drunk or high. A-And I don't want you to kiss me now and regret it later." Harry took a deep breath and looked away from Peter. "Even if I want you too..." He added quietly.

"I don't regret kissing you eight years ago, Harry. And I'm not going to regret kissing you now if you let me." Harry looked back at him to see Peter's reassuring smile.

"You remember that?"

"Of course I do, but... I also remember that it was the reason you were sent away." Harry laughed bitterly and nodded.

"Yeah me too. It was just another reason for disappointment added to daddy's list." Harry ran his fingers through Peter's hair. "I ruined the boy he would have preferred to be his son... And you know, kissing other boys wasn't exactly top on the things he thought his heir should be doing." He moved his hand to the back of Peter's neck and played with the hair there. "But you kissing me isn't what he saw. He walked in after you kissed me, after you pulled away. He saw me kiss you when you tried to apologize, that's why he sent me too boarding school. Because I kissed you back." Peter shook his head and leaned into the touch.

"But if I hadn't then you wouldn't have kissed me back and he wouldn't have seen anything, and none of this would have happened."

"I thought you didn't regret it."

"I don't! I just, I wish I had picked a better place to do it."

"He would have just found some other reason to send me away."

"You don't know that."

"He hated me, Peter. And you do know that. It was only a matter of time before he tried to get rid of me."

"But if I hadn't... Maybe things would have been different, maybe those assholes wouldn't have-" Peter froze when Harry leaned forward and kissed the corner of his lips. Harry's lips lingered there but before Peter had a chance to return it Harry moved back.

"Stop, Peter... I just want to forget about that, okay?" Peter nodded and apologized. "It's fine, now you get one kiss, then no more until the withdrawal is over, deal?"

"Deal." Peter regained his smile and leaned in to kiss him, but was stopped when a finger was pressed to his lips.

"I thought you were going to ask before each kiss?" Harry said, the smile on his face matching Peter's.

"May I kiss you, Mr. Osborn?" The older boy laughed and nodded before the younger leaned in to press a kiss to his lips. Harry returned his hand to the back of Peter's neck as Peter put one hand on Harry's hip and the other on his thigh. Peter licked at his bottom lip, pulling at it lightly with his teeth. Harry let out a breathy moan, his mouth opening enough to give Peter a chance to deepen the kiss, which he gladly took. Harry grabbed onto Peter's hair and pulled him closer, leaning back slightly and smiling into the kiss as Peter moaned and rubbed his hand up Harry's thigh to his waist. The brunette's other hand moved to the bed as he slowly began to lean over Harry, one hand holding him up and the other moving to Harry's lower back to carefully lay him back. Before he could press the blonde to the bed Harry pulled away, only far enough so that their noses were still touching, and bit his lip as he pressed his fingers to Peter's lips again to keep him from attempting another kiss. Both boys were panting heavily, the younger's eyes half lidded and trained to Harry's lips as they twitched up into another smile. When they finally spoke they did so in whispers, though they were the only ones in the room.

"Now, now, Peter... I said a kiss, not a make out session..." Harry pulled his fingers away from Peter's lips and gently stroked his cheek.

"You could have stopped me at any time..."

"True, but then again I've never had much self-control."

"And I do?"

"Being a superhero I'd assume so. Also, Mr. Parker, I don't think getting my heart rate up is best for my health at the moment."

"Touché, and nurses could run in at any time thinking there's something wrong, and ruin the moment. So I guess one of us needs some self-control."

"Oh? Were we having a moment?"

"I'd like to think so."

"I bet you would..." Harry licked his lips and looked at Peter's before moving his gaze up to the brunette's eyes. "Now get off of me, Parker." He spoke playfully and with a hint of a smile on his face, gently pushing at the boy's chest.

* * *

 

Harry stayed at the hospital overnight, despite his protests, and left the next afternoon. He had gotten Peter to text Felicia the night before to get her to bring him some clothes since he wasn't very comfortable wearing just the hospital gown and his phone was still in his apartment. When she was there she proceeded to give him a long lecture about why drugs are bad and why he should go to rehab and blah blah blah. One he had to go through again when Gwen came. He wanted to ignore both of them.They weren't telling him anything he didn't already know or hadn't already heard before. But as each lectured him he could feel Peter's worried gaze on him the whole time and he didn't want to disappoint him by obviously zoning out.

Yes, Harry had already agreed to try and get sober, mostly so they could (try to, at least) finish the cure. And he was 100% sobering up because he wanted to, so he could live.

But disappointing people was just something he was good at. Disappointing his father on a daily basis, along with the old business men at OsCorp that think they are better and smarter than him. To be honest Harry never really cared about that (well he did but more of a 'I need to prove them wrong' care) the way he cared about disappointing his best friend and the people that actually cared about him. So he tried his best to listen and convince them that he actually would _try_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> was that good happy?? hopefully cause im probably gonna write some sad again soon


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so ive been in the hospital a lot since the last update so this might not be the best chapter  
> but aye i hope you like it!

After they left the hospital, they went to Harry's penthouse. It was obvious that while he was gone Felicia had gotten someone to come clean up the place, ridding it of the left over cocaine and empty alcohol bottles. 

As soon as they got there Peter made Harry tell him where all the hidden places were, where he store his alcohol and drugs at. All the obvious and not-so-obvious places, as well as any 'emergency' bags or bottles. After that Peter disposed of them much to the blonde's dismay, then they began packing. They gathered all of his clothes (except the formal ones) as well as his toothbrush, hairbrush, and a pillow, and put them in a suitcase. 

Harry chewed his lip as he sat the suitcase down and walked over to his nightstand. He opened it and while Peter wasn't paying attention and quickly grabbed something and put it in his pocket before Peter noticed what he was doing. 

Afterwards, they left and went to Peter's, well, Aunt May's house. By the time they got there Harry was already getting the shakes. It wasn't too bad though, to him it was similar to the tremors he sometimes got from the disease.

"Thank you for letting me stay here Mrs. Parker." Harry said as he released her from a hug clenching his hands into fists once they were back at his sides to try and keep Peter and his Aunt from noticing the shakes. 

"Stay as long as you need to, Honey, good to see you, and just call me Aunt May, alright? Mrs. Parker makes me feel old. But let's catch up tomorrow okay? My shift starts soon and I have to go." Aunt May spoke quickly and sweetly. She kissed them both on the cheek before grabbing her purse and a jacket and rushing out the door.   
When the door closed Harry sighed and looked at Peter, who was leaning against the back of the couch with a smug face.

"What?" 

" I almost forgot how polite you are to her."

"And?"

"It's cute, it's like you're afraid she won't like you." Harry rolled his eyes and walked past him to get to the stairs, taking his suitcase with him.

"Shut up."

"Aww so it's true then?" Peter pushed himself off the couch and followed Harry up the stairs.

"No, I just respect her." Harry answered as he walked into Peter's room. "Also, this looks exactly how I remember it, except not quite as many stupid action figures." He put his stuff in an empty corner of the   
room and turned to look at Peter.

"Hey you loved those stupid action figures." A cheesy grin grew on the taller boy's face and they both laughed.

"That's true."  
A few seconds passed and the laughter died out, and so did Harry's smile. He stood there looking around the room with his arms crossed. While Peter sat on the bed, watching Harry. The older of the two felt   
the other's eyes on him and returned the gaze.

"What?"

"You're shaking..."

"It's just the withdrawal, I'm fine, Pete." 

"Is there anything I can do?" Harry noted the concern in Peter's voice.

"Not really... But I'm gonna try and sleep off the hospital meds and it's probably going to be worse when I wake up so prepare yourself." Harry pulled one of the pillows from the bed and placed it on the floor.

"I sure hope you don't think you're sleeping on the floor." 

"Well I sure as hell am not going to steal your bed. Peter, I'm going to be a guest for god knows how long and I'm not going to make you sleep on the floor."

"We can share the bed then." Harry rose an eyebrow at that. "I won't try anything I swear." Peter added quickly.  
"No, I..." Harry sighed and sat on the bed next to him, their knees and shoulders brushing together. "I know you won't, Pete. That would go against your superhero ways." They both laughed at that. "But Peter, you do realize your bed barely fits just you, right?" 

"I'll sleep on the edge and web myself to the bed so I won't fall off." Harry rolled his eyes and smiled. 

"Now get some sleep, I got some work to do for the paper."

"You mean edit your selfies?" Harry teased as he stood up to search through his suitcase.

"Haha yes that's exactly what I mean." Peter said sarcastically. 

Harry pulled out some loose pajama bottoms and walked to the door. "I'm gonna change, have fun tricking the media!" He walked out an made his way to the bathroom. He changed clothes, taking the thing out of his pocket first and setting it on the counter. Then he looked into the mirror for a moment before shaking his head, he looked like a mess, baggy eyes and sores all up his neck from 'the Osborn Curse'. Harry looked away and grabbed the object, then quietly exited the bathroom. He made his way back to Peter's room to find him sitting at his desk editing a picture. Harry looked into his hand and nodded before closing it and moving to set the skinny jeans he was wearing previously on his suitcase, then he moved to sit on the bed again. 

"Hey, Pete?" 

"Yeah?" Peter responded, not turning his attention away from the computer. 

"Come over here." Peter rolled himself in front of Harry, not leaving his chair. 

"What is it? You okay?" Harry nodded.

"Hold out your hand." Peter did so. The older then gently placed the money in Peter's upturned palm and closed the brunette's hand around it. "I want you to give that to Aunt May, alright? Or put it in her room, or something. For letting me stay here. I know she won't take it from me."

"Holy shit..." Peter breathed as he counted the money. "Harry I can't ..."

"Please, Peter, see it as payment for eating your food and using your electricity and water and stuff. It's not like I don't have tons more. It's just a couple hundred dollars. It was in my nightstand... It was kinda... My drug money I guess." Harry huffed out a laugh. "Drug dealers don't exactly take credit cards." 

"Harry-" 

"Just take it, Pete." Peter bit his lip but nodded before rolling over to his desk, placing the money there, then rolling back to Harry. 

Peter leaned in, gently catching the blonde's chin as he flinched away. 

"Friend kiss?" Harry hesitated a bit but nodded nonetheless, smiling a bit when Peter softly pressed his lips to his cheek. "Goodnight, Har." He said as he moved away.

"It's the middle of the day."

"Well good afternoon then." Harry laughed and pushed the chair so Peter would slide back to the desk.

"Have fun editing your selfie, nerd."

Peter laughed and got back to work on his computer as Harry laid down on the bed. 

Harry laid there silently watching Peter, listening to the clicks of his mouse and the typing on the keyboard as he drifted off to sleep. 

~~~~~

Once Peter was done with his work, he began to research the symptoms of a cocaine withdrawal and how long it would last. He looked up the best way of handling it, and what not to do so that he would be prepared. 

He learned that even after the symptoms of withdrawal are no longer visible, that Harry would more than likely always have the urge to use again. Which, granted, he had expected. He had also learned that it was one of the more emotionally and psychologically taxing type of withdrawals and that Harry would be going through mood swings, depression, nightmare (which he knew the blonde already suffered from), and that he could get violent. As well as this, he had read that he may suffer from paranoia  
and intense food cravings along with many other things. 

After a while, Peter stopped researching and turned around in his chair. He smiled and quietly walked over to bed where Harry was still sleeping peacefully. The brunette knew that this was probably the last time Harry would be getting a good "nights" sleep for a while, not that he has ever really had them to begin with, so instead of sleeping next to them like they had agreed and risk waking him up, he got spare pillows and blankets and set them on the floor beside the bed. 

Peter gave Harry a barely there kiss on the forehead, before lying down in his make shift bed to take a nap as well since he didn't want to leave Harry alone for "superhero stuff".


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry  
> this is a dark chapter  
> i dont know man   
> you can skip it cause its kinda graphic rape stuff  
> its a nightmare though so you dont have to read it but it might be mentioned in the future

It was dark.

That's all he could remember.

Except for constant bright flashing lights and the sounds of cameras, or phones, taking pictures. 

His head was pounding and his vision was blurry, barely able to make out the faces around him.

He heard laughter and the whispering of violent words he knew were directed at him. 

Pain.

That's all he felt when he awoke.

That and how the sheets seemed to stick to his skin in a way that made him nauseous. 

He knew that it was a dream the second the laughter began to distort into something more sinister than taunting. 

Then he felt hands on him.

Pulling, scratching, and grabbing at his body. 

He felt hands wrap around his ankles and his wrists, before he felt himself being lifted up into the air. And when he tried to protest he couldn't find the control of his arms or legs.

He let out a choked sob and tried to tell them to stop.

They just laughed louder and threw him back down but he didn't have the strength to try and get up so he could run. He tried to crawl but the hands returned to his ankles and yanked him back down.

"You can't leave, you can never leave." One of them spoke, laughter clear in his voice.

He saw a blurred figure crouch down in front of him roughly grab his face to make him look. 

"You're mine now, Harry Osborn. You're ours." The figure sneered at him and used his other hand to yank back Harry's head by his hair.

Harry spit in his face.

And not a second later his cheek is stinging and the hand returned to his face to force his jaw open.

"You little shit! After all we have done for you this is the least you could do for us. All the parties? You wouldn't have gotten any of it without us! Without me! You know? I was gonna let you do some more so that you pass out again, but you know what? I think it will be more fun if you're awake. That way we, and the whole world," he jerked Harry's head to look at the person videotaping it all, "can hear you cry out like the fucking whore we all know you are."

Harry tried to tell him to stop but all he did was squeeze his jaw tighter and laugh when tears started to fall down his face.

He felt someone move behind him and get in between his legs and the feeling of hands running down his back made him gag. Harry tried to move away again but hands had grabbed his hips and held him still.

The guy in front was still holding his face as he leaned forward to whisper in his ear. "You deserve this."

He tried to brace himself for the inevitable pain as he knew there was nothing he could do to stop it.

He knew this was a dream.  
He knew, he always knew. 

But he couldn't force himself to wake up.

Next all he felt was searing pain, he cried out and tried again to move away but the hands held him in place and he couldn't get away. Harry tried to scream for help but all they did was watch and laugh.

It felt real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is my first time writing something like this and i was to uncomfortable to write something TOO graphic so   
> sorry this is kinda bad  
> ive got kind of writers block though and ive been watching a lot of game of thrones and yea  
> pretend that explains it


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO SORRY   
> I HAVE BEEN SO BUSY WITH SCHOOL I HAVENT HAD THE TIME TO WRITE  
> anyway here you go i hope its alright   
> btw sorry its not very long D:

Harry's whole body tensed before flinching away. "D-don't touch me." His voice was scratchy and it sounded as if he was broken.

Peter felt his chest tighten but he didn't move his hand away. He started to gently rub the blonde's arm, still wanting Harry to realize it was only a dream. "You're ok..."

"S-stop please, I can't!" Harry sobbed and tried to curl into himself even further. 

When Peter moved his hand down to rub Harry's back, the trembling boy elbowed him in the stomach before he could speak.

"Don't touch me!" Was all the warning the got before his hands went to his stomach and the wind got knocked out of him. Peter groaned in pain and rolled over onto his back.

"Fuck, Harry... that hurt." He felt the older boy's body tense beside him again. After a few moments of soft sobs, Harry slowly looked over his shoulder. 

"P-Peter?" 

"Yeah buddy it's me." The brunette cleared his throat before rubbing his stomach till the pain subsided. He looked over at the older and noticed his tear-stained face and the fear in his eyes. 

"Shit... I-I... I'm sorry..." Harry's eyes drifted down to Peter's stomach before trailing back up to his face. "I-I didn't mean to... I didn't... Ah fuck..." Harry's voice was shaking and so was he. He sat up and pushed himself close to the wall. The blonde pulled his knees up to his chest and ran his trembling hands through his hair. He let out a choked sob and put his head in his knees, being to pull at his hair as well.

Peter scrambled to sit up as well and reached up to gently pull Harry's hands out of his hair, but hesitated, not wanting to make things worse. Instead putting them on the bed on either side of Harry's body, leaning down so that if he was to look up, Harry would see him.

"Hey, buddy, it's okay! You were having a nightmare and when you woke up you panicked. It's fine, you're alright, I'm alright. You're safe." He spoke quietly, his voice as soft and comforting as he could get it.

Harry just shook his head and the sobbing got harder. "They w-wouldn't st-stop." 

Peter felt his heart ache and he could tell that the blonde was beginning to have trouble breathing.   
"It was a dream, Har, you're okay... I'm not gonna let anything happen to you. But you have to listen to me okay? If you don't calm down you're gonna hyperventilate."

Harry shook his head again. "I-I can't, I can't." He dug his nails into the back his neck and tried to press closer to wall.

"I'm gonna touch you so you don't hurt yourself okay?" Peter spoke quietly, slowly reaching out to grab onto Harry's hands and gently pull them from his neck. He was careful not to grab his wrists, having a pretty good idea of what the nightmare had been about an not wanting to make it worse. He noticed the trembling boy flinch slightly when Peter touched him, but Harry didn't try and stop him so he continued. 

"I know you can calm you're breathing down, and you really need to, okay bud?"

"I-I-I..." Unable to speak due to his rapid breathing, he just gave up and continued shaking his head.

"Come on, Harry, just try to get your heartbeat like mine..." Peter moved one of the smaller's hands over his heart and held it there with one hand, while the other gently stroked the back of Harry's other hand. "Slow, deep breaths, Har..." 

Harry rested his forehead on his knees and took a deep, shaky breath. 

"That's it..." Peter smiled at him a bit in encouragement. 

Soon, Harry's breathing was back to normal, except for a few stutters or hiccups here and there. That was when he finally looked up at Peter, who gave him a comforting yet sorrowful look. 

Harry looked completely wrecked (and not in the good way). His face was a dark red from the whole nearly hyperventilating thing and the crying. His already bright blue eyes, seemed brighter from the tears still there and there were tear stains down is face. His hair was sticking up at odd angles because of how he had been tugging at it. 

"Is it okay if I touch you?" In response, Harry nodded weakly before Peter gently pulled the smaller closer to him, so he was inside Peter's legs. 

"Are you okay?" The brunette asked, even though he knew the answer. 

"No." Harry's voice cracked and he pressed his face into Peter's neck. He pulled his hands away from the others and used them to grab at Peter's shirt. 

The brunette wrapped his arms around Harry and kissed the top of his head. "Do you wanna talk about it?" At that, Harry tensed but didn't speak.

"It's okay, you don't have to." Peter rubbed his back to try and kissed his head again. They sat like that for a while. Peter had an internal conflict about whether or not he should speak. Not knowing if it would help the older boy more if he was quiet or not. He just didn't know what to do in general.

It took a few moments for Harry to relax. He had been silently crying into Peter's neck before he got his emotions under control. Though, he was still shaking. 

When the younger boy stopped hearing the cries he carefully pulled away. The older immediately backed up to his side of the small bed and hung his head down, lifting his arm to wipe at his face furiously. 

Peter put his hand on the others arm to get him to stop. "Hey... Just-"

"They wouldn't stop." Harry interrupted him, still not meeting his eyes. "Thats how it always is. I know it's a dream... But they... They never stop. And no matter how hard I try, I can never wake myself up."   
Peter's chest tightened and looked at the other sadly. He didn't know what to do or how to help. He knew there was nothing he could do to make the older boy forget what they had done to him. But he at least wanted to let him know that he would do anything and everything in his power to protect him and keep it from happening. Again. 

Then again he knew Harry could take care of himself (at least to an extent), and the last thing Peter wanted was to make the other feel like he pitied him. So instead he didn't speak, but he didn't move his hand from the other's arm. 

A few moments of comfortable (or uncomfortable, Peter nor Harry could really tell) silence passed before Harry spoke.

"I'm sorry I woke you up..." He moved a hand to rest over Peter's, the one on his arm. 

"Hey..." The younger gave him a smile and used his other hand to gently lift Harry's chin up so he would be looking at him. "It's okay, no worries, Har." He cupped the other's cheek and brought their foreheads together, gently holding him there. His smile faltered. "I just... I wish I could help, like, I wish I could do something to keep the nightmares away. You don't deserve that." 

Harry huffed out a laugh and closed his eyes. "I'm glad someone thinks so." 

Peter lightly pressed his thumb against Harry's cheekbone to signal him to open his eyes. "It's not just me, everyone knows you didn't, and don't deserve it, Harry."

"I wouldn't say everyone."

"Well the people that do are sick." 

Harry nodded in agreement. He didn't speak, instead he just looked at him as Peter slowly rubbed his back. Peter smiled at him, however, it disappeared when Harry leaned in and pressed a barely there kiss to his lips.

"Thank you." Harry took the brunette's hand off his face and held it in both of his own. He looked down at them instead of directly at Peter. 

"You don't have to do that."

"Do what?" 

"Kiss me when I'm being nice." Harry tensed. "You don't need to buy me off Har, I'm not going anywhere." 

"I-It's not... That's not..." Harry sighed and shook his head. "I just... I don't know what else to do to thank you, Pete." 

"You don't need to do anything. I already told you that I don't want anything from you, other than to help make you better."

"You want to date me too." Harry's lips quirked up slightly in a smile which Peter returned tenfold. 

"Well yeah there's that," the brunette laughed before getting serious again, "but I'm not gonna force it on you, if you don't wanna be more then friends then I'd be perfectly fine just being friends."

"Thank you, Peter." The younger nudged Harry's chin up with one hand and squeezed his hand with the other. 

"Don't worry about it, do you think you can get back to sleep?" Harry shrugged.

"I don't know, you can if you want, or go do superhero stuff or whatever." 

"I'm not just gonna leave could choose if he wanted to cuddle up next to him or not.

Harry waited until he saw Peter's eyes close to scoot over and cling to the taller boy's side, wanting to try to hold onto the little pride he felt he had left. Soon after, Peter wrapped one arm around Harry protectively and rubbed the blonde's arm with his other hand. you." Peter laid back on the bed and watched as Harry contemplated laying down with him, before the older eventually did. Peter made sure not to crowd him, allowing enough room between them so Harry

They didn't talk any more after that. Peter fell asleep soon after but Harry stayed awake. He laid there and stared at the walls till morning and tried to ignore the shaking in his hands the and nauseous feeling growing in his stomach. The blonde tried to distract himself with the beat of Peter's heart and the noises coming from outside but nothing helped. He could feel it getting worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did ya like? bit of cutesy??   
> ill try to write some more but im taking the sat soon so idk how well that is gonna work but ill upload asap!


	9. Authors note; this isnt over!!

Hey im just letting everyone know im not leaving this story!! Ive got pretty intense writers block and i know where i want to go from here but ive got a few gaps that are keeping me from posting. Ive also got finals coming up and just school in general is pretty stressful. But ill try to update asap!!

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed!


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